A poem written by a client’s experience at an eating disorder inpatient facility, expressing his feelings when his friends visited.

A little note, to go gently when reading this poem.

I was at hospital and ill,

Bones unprotected from that days hot chill,

Drugged up to stay alive on doctors last resorts,

…Of fatty shakes and brain pills,

Yet, one reflects on that moment so clearly still,

No longer could I hide behind the mental barriers of ignorance,

Living in pretence,

To wield a shield to protect and keep face,

As if a clown rubbing away the smile to reveal a frown,

The real down,

This body was lifeless and limp from the Anorexia,

My master, my pimp,

All but beaten down by its barbaric mace,

I was confined to a bed against will,

…By loved ones and next of kin,

No more say so, no other place to go,

Crumbling by the betrayal and close to caving in,

A zombie zoned out to words of wisdom,

…Getting piled well high within a single suitcase,

All on the inside was an unbearable anarchic pain,

Cowering to the conflicts of I hate mummy and daddy,

…But will I see them again?

And then from nowhere I was fed, not forced, a cathartic grain,

It was you both, standing by my side room door,

As if light punching through this never-ending rain,

Glimmering and glorious,

Sights for these sore eyes amongst the doubt and no more,

My friends had come to see me,

One of the most difficult times for I must confess,

Both your faces painting a picture of shocking discomfort,

…But remained brave,

Stepping over the shackles of a disordered slave,

In return you had been rewarded the real I, a skeletal mess,

Yet you stayed to care and comfort in this the hardest of times,

And for doing so I will always love you, both the sublimes.

With these lines I would like to give a mention to my friends

Alex and Stephen

rain on a window with a plant

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